Orang yang jatuh cinta diam-diam

Backsound: Say - John Mayer
Lokasi       : Mulyosari, Surabaya

Seminggu lebih sudah berada di Surabaya, dunia antah berantah tempat segalanya bermula. Maaf ternyata saya belum bisa menepati janji saya (baca: another night II). Oiya, mulai dari blog ini sampai selanjutnya, saya akan menambahkan lokasi dan backsound, biar sedikit keren.hehe
Tadi malam saya membaca sebuah buku dari Raditya Dika. Jujur saja, saya tidak terlalu suka Raditya Dika,  karena menurut saya ceritanya terlalu abstrak dan unsensistive. Namun satu buku ini tadi yang berjudul 'Marmut Merah Jambu', sedikit menggelitik pikiran saya. Bagi yang belum tahu bukunya, ini loh..

Berikut sedikit cuplikan dari akhir chapter 'Orang yang jatuh cinta diam-diam' :

"Pada akhirnya, orang yang jatuh cinta diam-diam hanya bisa mendoakan. Setelah capek berharap, pengharapan yang ada dari dulu, yang tumbuh mulai dari kecil sekali, hingga makin lama makin besar, lalu semakin lama semakin jauh. Orang yang jatuh cinta diam-diam pada akhirnya menerima. Orang yang jatuh cinta diam-diam paham bahwa kenyataan terkadang berbeda dengan apa yang kita inginkan. Terkadang yang kita inginkan bisa jadi yang tidak kita sesungguhnya kita butuhkan. Dan sebenarnya, yang kita butuhkan hanyalah merelakan. Orang yang jatuh cinta diam-diam hanya bisa, seperti yang mereka selalu lakukan, jatuh cinta sendirian.

Sebenarnya sangat simple dan pernah kita alami. Jatuh cinta..tapii..SENDIRIAN :). Okay, saya cuma mau share saja kok. Syukur-syukur ada yang tergugah, eh salah..syukur-syukur ada yang baca:). Selamat siang dan baik-baik kamu disana orang yang membiarkan saya jatuh cinta sendirian:).

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

(John Mayer - Say)

Utopia

i know, there is something that could be changed and couldn't. My ignorant sign of perception, there are such silly things that i can't accepted this time. Generously, making some decision will pass you at precisious direction or maybe won't. I have some promises, i have some dreams, and that was made with you. Truly, i can't throw it far away right now. I am sorry, but i mean this forever..


i was born with unromantic genes.
with no coding DNA for doing any romantic things spontaneously
and there were you, crashing in like the realest thing
i tried my best to understand all that your love can bring.
But still, it doesn't enough. i keep misconceive on you..haha
so it was my mistake to let you cankered with the right way of other couples do., 
I am sorry to love you in different way, 
brighten your everyday in different way,
and caring you in a different way too.

......


-Removing 2 last sentences, because i know that i'm not worthied for those things now-

Osorezan Revoir

At times

if one wants something

It can oly be achieved

by sacrificing something else

The most importart things is

to have a heart

Osorezan Revoir

Miserable and abandoned on the road

Halfway through the trip

Lost all will and hope

Love is the meeting

The separation

It’s a transparent piece of cloth

Osorezan Revoir

The black thousand-paper-cranes

That person quietly carries a heavy

Lonely mystery during the night

Even in unfoldable

Even if unfoldable

The black thousand-paper-cranes

That person quietly carries a heavy

Lonely mystery during the day

Even in unfoldable

Even if unfoldable

Unwavering, unshaken, holding pride…

Excessively wanting bromide

Love is the meeting

The separation

It’s a transparent piece of cloth

Osorezan Le Voir

After around of a athousand years

I can finally break awal from

These lonely feeling

Even if not forever

Even if not forever

This weak heart

I can finally tear off

This heavy shell

Even if there is no grave

Even if there si not grave

h-17

'It's okay to kiss a fool. It's okay to let a fool kiss you, but never let a kiss fool you'

I must pretend myself that i cant ignore it all. And with this i was declaring my loseness, and i will stop acting like terminator. Its like Hiroshima's tragedy where contaminating your soul, and haunted you all time. Acting tough was easy, but anytime i paid my fisherman friends, there is a hot sensation not here, but here (showing chest). Whenever i ate an ice cream, i feelin worst, the ice still complete but somewhere inside me was melted. how ridic!

Come on, this is my last time moment. And i cant barely leave like this. Because i know, something went wrong and unaccomplished yet. Let see

Faikar Ridwan Harimansyah

Dedicated, Motivated, Spirited

Yap, Faikar merupakan salah satu teman terdekat saya di angkatan 2009. Saya sendiri tidak tahu, bagaimana proses sehingga kami bisa akrab. Mungkin karena berawal dari persamaan status "jomblo", hingga akhrinya kami sering berdiskusi. Bagi saya Faikar merupakan sosok pemimpin yang ideal, cerdas dalam akademik, dan instingnya tajam. Dalam pergaulan kami berdua sering diperbincangkan masalah status kejombloan kami, hal itu yang menjadikan kami cupu T.T. Namun itu semua akan berubah 180 derajat ketika melihat dia bermain basket, seriously!. Lagu "after the rain" bagi saya merupakan salah satu pemberian berharga bagi saya darinya, karena salah satu kesamaan kami adalah kecintaan terhadap lirik suatu lagu.

Mungkin Faikarlah satu-satunya teman yang pernah melihat saya menangis, dan saya sangat menyesalkan itu. Dialah satu-satunya teman yang tahu betul bagaimana keadaan saya dalam waktu terakhir saya disini. Sungguh, saya tidak ingin semua ini terjadi dan saya tahu betul apapun alasan yang saya buat, saya tidak bisa membenarkan perbuatan buruk yang telah saya lakukan. Untuk itu saya mohon maaf, saya belum bisa benar-benar menjadi kakak yang baik. Dan satu hal yang perlu diperjelas, saya menangis bukan karena saya sedih atau marah karena keluar dari UAI, tapi saya bersedih karena 'mungkin' saya tidak punya lagi waktu untuk mendengarkan dan membantu masalahmu kar. Momen yang tidak akan saya lupakan bersama Faikar adalah saat seminar energi, saya tahu persis dia sedang jatuh cinta. Namun dia masih meluangkan waktunya buat saya terimakasih :'). Pesen buat Faikar: "asah terus kemampuan lu kar, lu punya segala aspek yang dibutuhin buat jadi orang besar. Seringlah berlatih berbicara di depan orang banyak, karena gue rasa kekurangan lu cuma pada jam terbang dan kurang percaya diri. Jadilah orang hebat, sehingga lu gak diremehin orang lain. Jangan menjadi orang lain, tapi perhatikan orang lain dan ambil sisi baiknya. Last, gw nitip adik-adik gw ke lu, tolong jangan kecewakan gw, jadilah seorang teman bagi adik-adik lu sehingga mereka merasa nyaman untuk bergerak bersama lu. Dan pas lulus nanti tolong lu kasih tau ijazah lu ke gw. Gw percaya sama lu! Sukses!"

ghazi muhammad

Funny, Tough, and Flexible

Sudah tidak bisa dipungkiri lagi, salah satu teman dekat saya selama berada di UAI adalah Gozi. Saya mengenalnya pertama kali ketika bertemu di diklat Azka Zarka, waktu itu dia terlihat kalem dan sopan. Waktu membuat kami semakin akrab, salah satu penemu tongkrongan Heri Beni buat anak FST adalah kami. Banyak waktu dan cerita yang banyak kami habiskan di Beni, mulai dari masalah kuliah, bisnis, hingga asmara. Percaya atau tidak, Gozi merupakan salah satu pria terjorok yang pernah saya temui (yakzzz!), pernah suatu ketika dia iseng menempelkan bekas kotoran hidungnya (baca: upil) ke dalam lift, dan yang paling menjijikkan adalah keesokan harinya saya mendapati kotoran tersebut belum dibersihkan. Belum lagi apabila dia membuka sepatu, maka akan tercium aroma dahsyat di sekeliling ruangan.

Salah satu persamaan kami adalah kecintaan kami pada musik, dia merupakan salah satu orang yang berjasa mengenalkan Oasis kepada saya. Saya menghargai dia, dan sudah menganggapnya sebagai saudara sendiri sampai-sampai kami tidak pernah memperhitungkan semua aspek waktu, tenaga, maupun materi. Momen yang tidak pernah saya lupa adalah ketika dia menyemangati saya dalam mengejar wanita yang saat itu saya gilai, mungkin momen itu sekedar terlintas sedikit di kepalanya. Tapi saya sungguh-sungguh amat menghargai dan berterimakasih. Satu hal yang ingin saya pesankan adalah: seriuslah dalam suatu hal yang lu lakuin zi, gw tau lu bisa karena gw udah kenal lama ma lu..lu laki-laki paling tua, sudah waktunya lu mikirin masa depan keluarga lu, bukan diri lu sendiri. Dalam hal wanita misalnya, kejar dan dapetin cewek yang bener-bener lu suka jangan karena keadaan. Hidup kita sendiri yang nentuin bro! sukses! semoga silaturahim kita terjaga sampai tua.amin

reblogged from my notes

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be, your neighbor, your coworker, a long lost friend, or a complete stranger. When you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved,straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create who you are and who you become.

Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen.

Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.

You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

Most importantly if you Love someone tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store

The End Of The Middle Stories

Well for at least 6 months i begin to start writting again, trust me...its hurt when i choose to wrote with a situational objection, because my heart started to be mellow again this morning. And that mean makes you guys feeling annoyed by my fluctuative emotional now.

Here and now,...

Like Bubble's said "my word were cold and flat", and so do i. Can't move from my bed, just smile whenever my friends tried to cheers me up, and being a dead prisoner in the modern world. I just said, "am sorry guys, god gives me little blows right now, thanks for those jokes..but i just wanna stay in my kraken mind right now". The second lowest point in my life, and its pretty damn hard.

From now on, with my last word, "i won't forget this", i swear to be great. I won't trapped anymore. I won't gives a fake smile nor sweetest smile anymore. I will grew and won't be a scrumble. You said that i missjudged you, yes! i miss judged you. I will forget about the beauty of true love, because i know that was a big bullshit until you get married. I will grew up so i can't uniting my pieces again. Its very true that sometimes you get what you want but what you need.

But still, the part of this soul was lost and thats not your fault, thats my fault. You didnt do anything wrong, because i am the one who did it. Did a wrong way and wrong direction.

Okay, make it 50-50. So both of you and i can get along, and move on. Congratulation! you did it...you can drove and drill my heart. Awesome. For a little good damn thing i swear that you're the greatest one. But this time i would say sayonara. Have a good time, god speed!

ps: for my readers, sorry this is my emotional statement, dont mind it:) barokallahufik